Kiev, or Ukraine for that matter, is not necessarily on anyone’s map when it comes to vacation or travel plans, unless we are talking about middle aged men seeking a Russian bride, BUT Ukraine has had its fare share of publicity recently thanks to a very heated situation with Russia. We thought we’d share some light on this troubled part of the world and answer questions that may confirm or, to your surprise, debunk the stereotype.
There’re actually some very good things about coming to Ukraine. It has great nightlife, it’s a good emerging market for investors, especially since recently installed government came into office, and it’s full of quite attractive and educated people. But some things still remain quite an annoyance.
First and foremost, whether you opt in for travel to Kiev on either business or personal matters, prepare to lower your expectations.
Ukraine is a post Soviet country and as any one of them, it’s resistant to Western induced change.
The nicest hotel, Hyatt, might very well be your only escape to luxury and good level of service you’d get. It charges $400/night.
Newly opened Hilton in Kiev also lives up to some high expectations, so if you enjoy the best and want to be 100% sure your stay will be a pleasant one, book one of these hotels.
Fun Fact: if you bring a date to your hotel room in any of the hotels in Kiev besides Hyatt or Hilton, prepare to be harassed by a security that would want you to basically bribe him off in order to allow your female friend to come up to your room, regardless if she’s your actual friend or even a relative.
SNL sketch below has a pretty good handle on life in Eastern Europe.
Now let’s address some common questions most people would ask about Kiev, Ukraine.
#1
Is Ukraine really that bad?
In short: depends what you compare it too.
It’s not dangerous like some parts of the world where you can literally get kidnapped or harassed out of nowhere. The most that can happen is your taxi driver rips you off and a local policeman starts something about you not carrying a passport, which is something a small bribe of $10 can fix. Then again, look at is a forced charity: public servants aren’t particularly happy people as Ukraine has one of the lowest GDP in Europe.
Dubbed the ‘sex capital’ of the Eastern Europe, Ukraine sure has its fare share of problems. But you probably won’t see the insanity that goes on in say, Thailand, so no ping pong ball shooting over in Ukraine, if you get the reference.
Kiev might have the places you recognize, like, say, Buddha Bar, yet tone down your expectations when it comes to quality of the food, the customer service of servants or skill of the bartenders. Also, unlike its counterparts in Paris or New York, expect Kiev Buddha Bar to be a little more flooded with girls of a certain profession, shall we say. What you can expect though is nice ambient atmosphere, good music and if you are lucky, good company. Although the latter is best to plan ahead.
#2
Is Ukraine, especially Kiev, dangerous to go to in 2014?
Recent events in Ukraine have been alarming to some and it’s not hard to imagine how a country that’s in a middle the war with Russia would be a seemingly a dangerous place to go. Just until recently the main street of Kiev looked like a shot from an apocalyptic movie. But that’s just that, as many reports mention, everything was always concentrated on one single street and with Ukraine happily integrating in EU right now, things have been and remain calm and normal, with foreigners visiting, eating out, doing business, touring and partying like they used to.
Also the actual war happens int he Eastern Ukraine and given that Ukraine is 2nd largest country in Europe, things would never reach Kiev. They never have. There was only a street protest that turned into a major street protest that was essentially the 2014 revolution but street is cleaned off now and the traffic moves freely. So go out and enjoy the city.
#3
Is Ukraine a good place to do business?
As any smart businessman you may appreciate an opportunity to invest in emerging markets. Ukraine has the right set up: educated 
and hard working workforce and low pay expectations. But insane amounts of corruption and red tape was the reason why many international companies and organizations were not thrilled at the idea of doing business in Ukraine. As an example, Ukraine has no international banks, most licked their wounds after dealing with the former government and it’s insane deregulation of the banking industry and frequent unlawful raids and take overs..
UniCredit is a good example. In 2013 Italian bank was the last one to withdraw its operations and sell off its assess after having experiencing doing business in Ukraine.
But allegedly, the European integration is long underway and a series of forthcoming political and economic reforms will create a different climate in the county, one that might lead to Ukraine being open for honest and transparent way of conducting business, for once in its history.
#4
Are Ukrainian women really that hot?
Compared to American – YES.
Compared to European – hard to say.
Whether it’s a perk of poverty or healthy food culture, it’s hard to catch heavy set women on the streets of Kiev. Most Kiev women are slender and quite well kept. So you got that.
Funds are limited, therefore not everyone has extra $10K for a boob job, so if you are into a curvy body type, better head to Columbia or the ‘Silicon Valley’ somewhere in California.
Perhaps the real reason why Ukrainian women get that much attention is because of how they dress. Or shall we say overdress. Every occasion is a special one apparently.
Grocery store? heels, mascara and something tight
Night out? 6′ heels, mascara and something tight
Do you see the difference? Neither do we.
While Western European women enjoy dressing down and being casual, Ukrainian women won’t ever miss a chance to look good and doll up. But it’s probably a good thing because baggy jeans and sneakers get old fast.
#5
Can I find my true love in Kiev
aka are all Ukrainian women gold diggers?
OMG the fact that you’re asking that question means your mom gave you no social skills and you need to shave off that creepy mustache from the 70’s.
Somehow Ukraine became the mail order brides’ capital and an old guy with a ‘child’ bride is no big deal as foreign men allege that Ukrainian women are open minded, family oriented and overall submissive and not much matters to them other then finding a caring green card holding guy and…oh, wait, there we have it.
Reason why we decided to takckle that is because we occasionally get requests for an interpreter to do some translation on a date. And we always decline.
Our service was created with businessmen in mind primarily. W wanted to let them experience a great service, all around support and help them with their business matters when in Ukraine.
Our second largest group is tourists who want great advice and assistance on Kiev upscale nightlife.
We feel like because it’s such a HUGE part of what Ukraine is known for, why not address it?
So, is it realistic to find a life partner in Ukraine? In short, no.
If you are a reasonably attractive or average looking guy who happens to find a decent English speaking female in Kiev, or Ukraine for that matter, and she is willing to uproot her entire life by moving to a foreign country where she knows no one but you, then you might have a shot. Yet, the chances of all those ‘stars’ aligning all at once are slim to none.
Still, if your goal is a couple years of ‘sexy time, as Borat puts it, and you’re somewhat prepared to her leaving after few years that she spends living abroad and realizes she can do better, then go for it.
#6
How hard can I party in Kiev?
Pretty hard.
The good thing about Kiev is that everything is almost always open (expect for Mon nights, then again, those are slow everywhere).
There’re some very upscale nightclubs, lounges, restaurants and even strip clubs in Kiev. You might not have the greatest food or end up with the world’s most pleasant bartender, but you’d have heaps of fun, especially if you navigate Kiev’s fancy hot spots with the help of one of our Kiev nightlife guides.
English Kiev Guides & Interpreters / nightlife tours 